PLEASE READ IF U HAVE CROHN'S.IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE.THERE IS LIFE WITH CROHN'S,IT DESTROYED MINE AT FIRST,BUT METHADONE SAVED ME

by kim phinney atkinson
(kentville nova scotia canad)

I had since i was 17,it's been a long battle.but there is life after it.i been through it all,The sicknss.the cramps.the diarrhea.And the operations.and the pain,can't forget that,who could.I would rather give birth,then go through the pain i go through.You would think why me,why.What did i do to have this happene to me.I will say i don't know why i got crohn's,but it destroyed my life.and u may ask me why am i happy now,and saying there is life with crohn's.I will tell u why.I was 17 didn't know much in life,became really sick,doctors didn't know what was wrong with me,from 17 till i was almost 18,they keep telling me it was bladder infection,kidney,and blood posion,etc,lots of tests been put through hell and back,till i got so bad.i was losing pounds like crazy,pucking non stop,couldn't eat.i was 150 pounds and i dropped to 90 in a matter of a few months.i finally went to the hosptial,and a doctor on call,did some test,and he told me i had crohn's.Hell i didn't know what it was.I was like ok give me a perscription, and i will go home and get better.Well the doctor said it's not that easy.It's not cureable,you will have for the rest of your life.And you can't leave the hosptial.we have to get you better first.SO i was in the hosptial a month,with tubes down my nose cleaning my system out.i had a blocked blowel.so i had part of my blowel taken out,and so much more.I was a kid i did'nt know what was in for,and i didn't want this to happen to me.BUT it did,and i had to grow up and learn to deal with it,And grow up i did.pretty fast.if what i knew now,of what i became of now,then.I would of beat myself senseless.It's was hard for me to admit it at first.But i became a drug addict.You wouldn't expected that now would you.It was not over night.i became one,but many years. later.Why,after i grow up,ya i know u don't grow up over night,but felt it happen to quick,Having crohn's and being in alot of pain everyday sucked,so my doctor started me on a bunch of med's.you now the usual,pentasa,steriods,and pain killers,he gave me demerol at first.he would give me 100 at a time,and they would last about three months.and i will say i never abused them at first nit took a few years.so after a few years,the demerol wasn't cutten it anymore, i was taken more then i was supose to.because after a while of taken a drug u need more,cause it's not working as good anymore.So i started getting then monthly instead of 3 months.so i was going through 100 amonth.and so on,and so.by the time i was 26 i was taken to muchj demerol,and then he started giving me perks.so i was on both of these at the same time,and while i was taking all these pills over the years,I did have 2 wonderful kids.and yes i did stop the pills while i was pregent.i got pregant when i was 18,20,so i was way before it became a habbit for me,thank god.like i was sayin when i was 26,i was on the two type of pain killers.and they still were not enough.so i went to other doctors and hosptials,making up stories about losing them,or just moved in the area.I had made up so many stories,i became a pro at getting any doctor to give me anything.But it dose catch up to u,after a while.My doctor found out,and i got in trouble for double doctoring.He took my med's away,and i said i has a drug problem and sent me to detox.so from 26 to 34 i been in detox 5 plus times.It never worked for me.but as my doctor took my med's away.he found out i was still getting them,and kicked me out of his office.That was the worst thing that could of happend to me,i took it pretty hard.he has been my doctor all my life.I didn't understaand,why he did that.he was the one who gave me the pain killer to begin with,and when things got to bad he said see ya.and i at that time i still didn't think i was a addict.really i didn't know much about drug addiction.there was not book on how to be a drug addict.or how to stop.all i knew is i needed the drugs,and they made me feel good,with out them i was sick,and i mean real sick.so i would buy them from people,so instead of demerol and perks it was hydro morphines,like the 12's 18's etc.if u know your pain killers,then u know what i mean.it got so bad,that i was in a clinic,waithing to see a doctor,and i stolen a perscrition pad,the specail one to write out pain killers.So i wrote a few scripts for myself.But i say to my self was it worth it now.no it wasn't.But at the time it was.I got caught.and in big trouble.with cops.it gave me my first crimmial record.And that started my crimmal acts.which are to many know,to support my habbit.BUT as there went.i started taking more pills,and that still was not getting me high,so i started crushing them up and snorting them,that worked for a while.But what happen next,I though i never do.I seen it done,and watched it on t.v.thinking i would never do that,But one thing u never say never.cause it could happen to u.i knew i was a addict then.i was 30 and i was using the needle to get high.so became a I.V drug user,which i never though i would ever become.Before the thought of putting a needle in my arm,made me sick.i hated needled.But having crohn's u get use to all the needles.i still suffer alot with my crohn's over the years,but being an addict.it helped with all the pain.so i was hardly in pain.when i was 33 it became to much for me,and there is not much help out there for information ,with people with crohn's and being a addict.wee need more infromation and more people out there spreading the word about crohn's.But there is a happy ending in my story.not all people do.I went to this on clinic that was a 15 min drive from my home,its been there ll a long and noone told me about it all these years and i could have been getting the help i needed.it was by chance i found it.i was last year i was really sick.i couldn't deal with using anymore,my crohn's was actting up,i had no doctor.so i found a walk in clinic i wolfville nova scotia canada.ya ALL this writhing and i still never told anyone were i was from,i guess it would help out alot if i had said that.cause i know in the USA,u have to pay for your health care and your pills or perscription,and everytime you go to the doctors or hosptial etc.and in canada thats one thing i love.we are coverd from the day were born.there is only a few things we have to pay for.like our co-pay on med's which is 3-5 dollars.and u don't need to have medical insurance either. to get co-pay.But i will get back to my story.i went to the clinic,and the doctors there were so nice they did't treat me like shit,because i was a addict.once people find out u r one,everyone treats u different.but the doctors are the ones giving out the pills to make us want them and to become addicts.am not blaming the for my problem,cause i could have stopped anytime,but i didn't.I was self medicating myself to feel no pain.But at this cilnic they treated me like a person,they took the time to go through all my medical problems.and to help me put a plan together,and how to stop using,and how to help my crohn's out,and try to calm it down,and put it in remission some how,and after talking to the doctors for about 10 mins or so.i showed them my arms and told them i was a i.v drug user,what can u do for that.So the doctor said u took the first step and admitted it,and then he told me i was in the right clinic,I said why is that,He said were a METHADONE CLINIC.we treat addiction.i couldn't believe what was happening to me.god was looking out for me that day to put me in that clinic that day.Now methadone i have heard of through t.v and people talikng about it.because there are only a handfull of doctors in the martimes that can give out methadone.like i seen alot of shows on t.v about methadone,and movies e.tc.but never though it was around my area.there is not much information out there about methadone,and what it does and how it helps.cause u dont have to be a addict to use it.if u have a lifelong pain problem,they give out itand it helps BIG.peolpe think methadone,and think oh they take it because there a addict,no thats not the case at all.SO am almost done my story so i will get back to it.so they put me on methadone,started me out slow and worked my way up to were i felt comfortable on it.and were i didn't feel sick or withdrawing any more.now methadone does not get u high.at first it does because it is a strong pain killer.but u are monatiored very closely on it.and u go to the drug store of your choice.and take it daily in from of the pharmist.no take homes until u r on it a long time and r trusted.u got to earn ur trust with he dioctor.and i have.but it takes time to recover alot and am still in recovery from being a addict.and having crohn's.But i will say methadone is the best thing that ever happened to me.my life has changed so much i can't beleive who i am today.and i was a year ago.I would love to help people out in any way i can,since being on methadone,i have been in remission.am heatly i gained some pounds back.am pain free.which wanted from the start.its the best thing ever.NOW even if ur not an addict.and u have crohn's bad.go on methadone,it will change ur life.no more going to bathroom 20 times a day,with methadone it controls it u go once a day.it helps so u can eat,and live pain free.WHO WANTS TO LIVE PAIN FREE AND BE IN REMISSION,EVERYONE DOES.And i know there is not much out there on methadone,and crohn's.but we need to take a stand and help inform people out there,Tell them there is a life with crohn's.i want to help. i see all these question that peopl write and want help.and i would like to answer all.so if u need any help or info,or want a question answered.i will take the time to answer and help.but come to me,my email is kimphinn @ live.com day or nite i don't care i help everyone.